I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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