we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
