I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
