How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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