my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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