I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
