wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
