You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
