There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
