real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
