But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
