Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
