I wanna bring you to show and tell
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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