Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
vagina is talking i cant
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
