Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
