i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
