like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
