Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
