Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
