You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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