In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
