You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
