Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
