help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
