they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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