The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
