Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
