Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
