girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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