i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
