THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Who put my cat in the fridge?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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