We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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