I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
