Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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