Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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