Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
