OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
