): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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