So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
