u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Best friends brother. Beat that.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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