Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
