just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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