Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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