What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
