Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize