I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
