i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
