I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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