Pappa wants mamma naked
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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