I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
