Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
