I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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