Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
